


Padfuck & Netflix

by josiegrae



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M, Romance, Wolfstar Meets Queer Eye, queer eye
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 21:25:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15203789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/josiegrae/pseuds/josiegrae
Summary: "So," Lily smirked for the thousandth time as she watched Sirius clean out the fridge, "did you take pictures of what it looked like so you can put it back how Remus likes it?"Sirius pulled his head out of the shelve, glaring at Lily. "He isn't Monica. He just likes organisation."Sirius decides to clean out the fridge, and the Marauders + Lily meet up for Netflix day.





	Padfuck & Netflix

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jencala](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jencala/gifts).



> **To Jen,**  
>  I love you, and Happy Birthday. I hope this little slice of both worlds meeting will make your day,  
> Love,  
> Me.
> 
>    
>  _Thank you to Coriesocks [RuArcher] for being the voice that told me this was good enough. All mistakes are my own, and apologies as I am a little rusty._

Sirius had been living out of the Potter's home, in his own house—bought and everything—for all of three months when he realised that he hadn't spent a day without James since. Or Lily, apparently.

While Sirius knew their friendship group was close—after all, Sirius _had_ been dating one fifth of the group for two years now—he hadn't expected to spend so much time with them when they had all moved into their own homes. Especially when he realised he had seen James more now more than he had done when the two of them had lived together, and back then, the two of them had been inseparable.

There were _always_ tales of friendship groups spending less and less time together when they finished college—especially when Lily and Remus had both been accepted at their chosen universities. With the two of them done with their first year—where they had lived in dorms, away from their significant others—their second year had only further solidified the group as a family of five. Sirius still found it a surprise, even if he regularly saw James in his fridge or Pete in his garden.

The only downside—which in Sirius' opinion wasn't a downside at all—was the fact they all shared the _Wolfstar_ fridge. Wolfstar had become the collective name the group had given Remus and Sirius' home.

It didn't bother Sirius, not even a little bit, but then, not much did except other men flirting with Remus—and _anyone_ trying to befriend his friends.

The name, _however_ , did bother Remus something chronic. It made his shoulders tense, and the hairs on his neck stand up. For one, Remus was terrified of wolves, something he believed in explicitly and believed that due to the fact his name _literally_ meant wolf, wolf that he would be their first victim. The second reason being that they had a name at all, finding the entire thing ridiculous—until Pete named James and Lily's, Jily's, something Remus actually approved off.

The Wolfstar home was used far more than the Jily home, or Pete's flat, mainly due to the fact Remus was _excellent_ at keeping the fridge full. When Remus had left for his first year, he had no idea how to prepare a meal, but when left alone, and miles away from a takeaway, he had begun to love cooking. In turn, Remus hated sharing any of his uncooked food—or leftovers. They were prices of joy he didn't want to share but would be happy to show the individual how to make it themselves.

Sirius wasn't a man who could cook. He could style hair, and he could be dramatic and excellent with technically, but cooking was his Achilles heel. All he wanted was Remus' food, especially as the scents wafted up to his nose. It had taken Sirius' barking, moaning and groaning the first week of Remus being officially home until he was allowed to delve into the tubs labelled with the name of each day stuck on each one. When everyone else ' _took the biscuit'_ —Remus' polite way of taking the piss—he gave up and simply began placing food in tubs for all of them. _But_ he wasn't happy about it, and he made it abundantly clear at every chance he had got, even if they all complimented his food and thanked him endlessly.

"So," Lily smirked for the _thousandth_ time as she watched Sirius clean out the fridge, "did you take pictures of what it looked like so you can put it back how Remus likes it?"

Sirius pulled his head out of the shelve, glaring at Lily. "He isn't Monica. He just likes organisation."

She had been set to respond, but a loud groan came from the garden, cutting Lily off from her _unasked for_ response. Her eyes rolled so loudly, Sirius chuckled as he placed the milk and cheese back.

"He's a fucking idiot."

Shrugging as Sirius stared at the dates on the salad items. "You're the one marrying him."

Lily snorted. "Don't remind me. You'd think if his trainer says he needs to rest to keep playing, he'd actually rest."

Sirius closed the door of the fridge, sighing as he stood back and smiled. "Prongs came in gym clothes, Evans. Not his usual patterned shirt and chinos, it was set in stone when you left."

"I assumed—incorrectly, of course—that he was doing it for comfort."

"James hasn't dressed for comfort since he was born, his Uncle is the maker of Slea-zey or something for hair, and his mother used to be a designer. It's in his blood to not be comfortable."

Sirius grabbed a box of raisins from the side, holding them up to Lily who shook her head. He took one glance around the kitchen, somewhat pleased with his efforts—even if many others wouldn't notice them in the place.

"Where is Remus?"

Popping the first raisin in his mouth, Sirius nodded his head to the sitting room. "He had to return something to the supermarket, something about date of purchase and date on a packet—if I'm honest—"

"You don't remember?" Lily sighed, dropping herself down into her usual armchair as she smiled in relief. "You're a terrible listener."

Sirius rolled his eyes half-heartedly, dramatically throwing a raisin into his mouth. "Look, there are a lot of _fabulous_ ideas that run around this noggin', and I can't be having Moony and his complaints about soft fruit take up valuable space. Like, honey, I need my room to fly."

* * *

Remus got back an hour later than Sirius had expected, mainly when the group was on a strict time schedule. Once a month, the five of them would vote on one show to binge watch as much as they could in a day. Remus would cook—obviously—and Lily would provide alcohol, and between the other three, they would find phrases that would create a drinking game. Some shows had them gripped, and several days later the five of them would be rushing around their lives attempting to make time to watch the rest, and others they wanted to switch off and never see again.

When Pete had _allowed_ —James had practically begged until he surrendered—them to use his Netflix account, the group had more options than they knew what to do with.

Sirius bit nervously on a piece of raisin, feeling the intense stare coming from Lily. _She_ was onto him. But he didn't care, not about her opinion, and he didn't even care about the cheers coming from the garden—even if really, deep down, he wanted to know why James was having so much fun with someone that _wasn't_ him.

"Padfuck!"

Sirius who had been _somewhat_ expecting such an outcry only smirked as he looked at a mildly joyful Lily. "Don't worry, E, it's a term of endearment."

Remus stomped into the doorway, his hand on his hips and his curls fluffier than they had been that morning. "Where the _fuck_ are the avocados?"

Sirius shrugged, popping another raisin in his mouth. "I mean, technically speaking, what even are avocados? Are they a being, a beast, a—"

"They're the ugly _fucking_ things in the fridge you won't touch without squealing. So where _are they?"_ His eyes turned to meet Lily's. "Do you know?"

"No!" She squeaked, and Remus suspiciously looked her up and down. " _Don't_ you look at me like that, Remus John Lupin!"

Continuing his smug expression, seeming unfazed by the bubbling explosion living inside of Remus, Sirius turned to Lily with a raised brow and hair flick. "Remus is _extremely_ protective over his avocados. He is _somewhat_ obsessed you see, and myself and—"

"Padfoot, I'm fucking here," Remus hissed, tapping the toe of his boot annoyingly against the laminate flooring. "For once, could you not be... _well you_ , and just answer me?"

Sirius let out a deep sigh. "I threw them."

"You're dead. Deceased," Remus snapped, turning and leaving before Sirius could interject anything.

He was _pissed_ —more than Sirius had thought. They were soft, squishy almost, and Remus hadn't mentioned them in at least a day, so Sirius thought he'd be okay—he figured that Remus would find it funny.

"I knew you'd do something wrong."

Sirius snorted before his mouth dropped open in shock, a fake _hurt_ expression painted over him as he grasped his chest. "That sounds an awful lot like an _I don't you so_ , and you know I don't play like that in this house."

Lily simply raised her mug to her lips, and his snort sounded far louder than it had earlier.

* * *

Remus hadn't spoken to Sirius for the entire time he had prepared lunch, even as Sirius _tried_ to help. James had also purposefully remained in the garden—and Sirius mentally marked his name for the cowardly behaviour, especially when he had saved Prongs more times than he could count. James waved with Pete and Lily, and Sirius growled at their happy faces as he stood washing lettuce with nothing but hatred. He suspected that Lily had informed the others of Avocado-Annihilation.

"Look, Moony—"

"Unless the next words out of your mouth are, _I'm sorry_ , you need to remain quiet. Otherwise, I might, _might,_ cut your hair with these scissors." Remus raised the scissors, sporting a smirk so bright Sirius was almost proud. "I dare you to push me."

Sirius wanted to laugh. If he was truly honest, he wanted _to burst_ into laughter so severly he was sure he wouldn't be able to contain it for much longer. But he tried all the same. He swallowed hard, so much it hurt, and Sirius tried to paint a sympathetic expression with puppy dog eyes.

"Remus...I thought they were off."

Dropping the scissors, Remus took a step back and leant against the counter. _They are only avocado's_ , Sirius thought, but the burning glare in Remus' eyes told him the Avocado-Annihilation had possibly gone deeper.

"No, Sirius. You were selfish. You didn't think about someone else—like you don't about a lot of things—and yeah, I know, you ' _love me',_ but sometimes, someone needs more than three words, they need proof."

Sirius nodded. "And, proof being…"

"Not throwing people's shit? Not hating on something that makes you awesome guacamole—"

"Wait, hold up," Sirius said astonished, "Guac is made from avocados."

If Remus could bang his head on the counter, Sirius was sure he would have.

"You, are such a Padfuck."

Sirius smirked. "I disliked you verb'ing your annoyed name for me."

Remus snorted, but Sirius could only smirk, at least he had been forgiven because Remus had talked to him willingly.

* * *

Food was laid on the table, snacks, sandwiches, salads, everything beginning with _S_ that Remus could make that would last their marathon. And nachos, because they were Sirius' favourite.

Sitting beside Remus, Sirius snuggled up to him as he felt Remus side-eye him, even if he reluctantly threw his arm around him. Lifting the remote up, Pete walked in, staring down at his phone as James poked him in the shoulder repeating, "Tell me. Tell me. Tell _me."_

Pete _thankfully_ snarled. "I'll tell you when you can get a goal past me."

James laughed sarcastically. "Come outside right now, and I will _show you_."

Pete shrugged. "Nah, I'm texting," he said with a smirk as James loudly groaned before throwing himself down on the other sofa.

"I see you got changed," Sirius commented as Lily shouted she was coming.

"Look, brother, when you have the body of a model, it's cruel not to wear clothes made for it."

Sirius and Remus jointly scoffed as Pete sniggered.

"If you didn't guess, Prongs," Remus spoke up, "that was all of us verbally rolling our eyes at you. I mean we usually save it for Pads—"

"— _Hey!—"_

"— _But_ we are sharing it _especially_ with you." Remus finished as he pressed a kiss to Sirius' head. "You love our joint eye roll, Pads."

Sirius pouted teasingly as he curled into Remus needily. "Maybe…"

"Anyways, _Queer Eye!_ " Remus exclaimed, doing a half-arsed wiggle in his chair as he pressed the centre button on the remote. "I am so excited."

Lily had just entered, and before she had spared a chance to place the tray of drinks on the coffee table, Sirius nabbed one from her. "Is this like the reboot of the original?"

"Yes," Lily said, her tone bubbling on annoyed as she glared at Sirius, "that one was mine."

Sirius tilted his head up tauntingly. "Why? More alcohol in it?"

Her eyes narrowed dangerously thin. " _Yes."_

"Snooze you lose, darling," Sirius winked, taking a long sip on the drink.

He attempted to hide the explosion of vodka that hit his throat, not wanting Lily— _or anyone—_ to sense the burn he was currently experiencing. Sirius was a man of pride, and he would _not_ allow another _I told you so_ , one being said to him in a day was bad enough.

* * *

The group of them felt the need to pause after the fourth episode, tears flowing from all of their eyes—to the point James had needed to fetch toilet roll. Remus had tried to hide his emotions from Sirius, something he always found rather cute about his boyfriend, until Lily mumbled a soft, "Aw Remus," bringing the rooms attention to the red ring around emerald green.

"Who'd you think we are?" Pete asked, trying to wipe his nose discreetly.

Sirius knew the distraction was purposefully for Remus, and he had only hoped he had been quicker to think of such a save as Remus sniffed loudly beside him. Neither men liked emotions, both pushing them down deep within themselves until they erupted. Knowing that Remus was both willing to share, and allowing himself to freely cry, only showed Sirius how much this show was affecting him.

Remus had found it extremely difficult coming out, especially when his parents had been so strict and he had endured telling them several times. The episode, although usually centred around the men helping out straight men, had tackled AJ, and Sirius felt Remus tense and relax throughout various parts of the episode. If he had a minute, a second alone with Remus, he would have kissed all his worries away. Sirius would have ran his fingers past Remus' cheeks, bringing their bodies together as he locked eyes and told him how perfect he was, but instead, Sirius settled for a look, an innocent but honest one that stared into Remus' soul.

 _"Are you okay?_ " Sirius asked wordlessly.

Remus' eyes smiled, a glint in the corner of each as he nodded, aiming to reply just as silently. " _Of course, babe."_   

Remus took a deep sigh as he frowned, thinking intently over Pete's question. Remus slowly curled into the corner as he scrunched his toes up as he ran his fingers through the front of his hair, pulling the curls until they were straight. "I guess I would be—"

"— _Antoni_ ," the five others said all at once.

Sirius snorted as he watched Remus close his mouth before quickly opening it, and he slid his hand across the sofa to tap his foot comfortingly.

"Is this because of avocado's?"

James laughed. "No, Moony, it's because you're the only fucker who knows how to cook. Yes, it's because of the fucking avocados."

Remus shuffled down into the seat, somewhat pouting. "I just like to be healthy," he murmured.

Sirius smirked, continuing to stroke him on the foot reassuringly as Remus forced his eyes to turn puppy-dog-eyed, making Sirius want to snuggle closer to him.

"I think we all know who'd be Jonathan," Lily teased, her eyes brightening as she looked over at him, "Sirius' hair flips more times than any of us combined, and I'm a woman."

Raising his brow, pretending to be offended. "Girl, I can't help that I'm so fierce."

"Pete is Bobby for sure. For one, he's the underappreciated but amazing at all things decor," Remus added, nodding directly at Pete who blushed so brightly he almost blended in with the Uncharted artwork behind him. "James, I think you're Tan."

"Because I'm a fabulous mixed-ethnic badass?"

Sirius laughed. "No mate, because you're the only one who fucking French tucks their shirts—"

"—and folds up the cuffs of their jeans," Lily added.

"And because, you know," Pete stammered, pointing up at James' salt and Potter-Black hair, "you're turning grey—"

"HOW DARE THEE!" James and Sirius both shouted at once, nearly causing Pete to jump out of his skin and bolt behind the sofa like a frightened animal.

Remus, who was focused entirely on the television, dipped his tortilla in the guacamole he had somehow acquired from nowhere, and much to the confusion of Sirius. He would have asked, demanding where on earth the amazing guacamole had come from, especially when Sirius had disposed of all of the avocado's, but instead he grinned wickedly as Remus winked—he wasn't the only mischevious one it seemed. And the point was further proven as Remus dug his next chip into the dip, teasingly licking his lips as Sirius watched. 

"That leaves you as Karamo, Lils," Remus said with a smile, his expression not changing, but his eye focus moving to the red-head. "Unless you don't want to be fabulous."

Her hand clutched her chest as though she had been blessed. "Of course I do, and I am honoured to be blessed with such a member. After all, no other would suit me better, I am the emotionally supportive one."

"You're also _so_ wise," Remus added, winking over at her as James frowned.

Pete sat up from his corner. "And a dare-devil!"

Remus nodded, pointing his next un-dipped chip at Pete. "Oh, oh," he said excitedly, "and you love bomber jackets." 

James coughed loudly, silencing the room as Sirius bit down on the inside of his cheek to refrain from laughing. James' jealousy had always been humorous, his only defence being raising his shoulders and clearing his throat or coughing until those in his way moved. The only time James had lashed out, it had been someone from school, and in Sirius' opinion, Snape had deserved it.

"Um back of _Antoni,_ go get yourself an avocado and leave my Kara-Lily alone." James snuggled closer to Lily. "I need her." 

"Oh," Remus said with a smirk, "I know you do."

Remus stuck out his tongue quickly, just as James pretended to be insulted, as Pete and Lily fake gasped. It lasted a second, lingering in the air before descending into laughter, the room brightening with their joy as they all fell apart, their emotions quickly vanishing.

Sirius looked around, half-smiling to himself as he felt his eyes well up. He had experienced such a hellish childhood and all he had wished for was a family, for someone to love him for who he was. As he looked around, seeing so many similarities between his friends and the ones on the screen, Sirius wished someone could be there to film the good times with _his_ friends—knowing without his _fab five_ , he'd be lost, and without a family.

He also wished he had something to look back on, knowing one day his mind wouldn't be able to recall memories like these, but for now, he'd live them as full as he could. Sirius slid from his mind, rising his hand up to Remus' ankle as he swept his finger and thumb over his skin. 

"I love you, Moony."

"I love you, _Jon-Foot,"_ Remus whispered quickly.

* * *

**oOo**

**Author's Note:**

> Find Me On Tumblr: [josiegrae](https://josiegrae.tumblr.com)


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